What EQ is NOT

EQ is NOT the opposite of IQ. ? EQ is NOT Fixed and ? EQ is NOT higher in Females than it is in Males. Seriously? I mean no offence when I say that that last one really surprised me when I first saw the data. ? 

Prepping a TALK for a large MNC that The Change Business ran yesterday – was so thrilled not only to have 200 in the room from all across SEA and Australia but that most stayed for the 1.5 hour session we ran.  

Both Meenakshi Sarup and I were so amused and grateful for the chatter and the high level of engagement – some of which came when we were debunking some of the myths around #emotionalintelligence. Here is some of what we shared at the session.

✨ EQ and IQ – We need both EQ and IQ to be effective and successful. Fun Fact: IQ peaks at the age of 17 and EQ peaks at the age of 40

✨ EQ can be learnt at any age – Latest discoveries have demonstrated that the brain is a very “plastic” organ and very malleable(neuroplasticity): this means we all possess the potential to grow our EQ throughout our whole lives

✨ EQ and Gender – Females are not more emotionally intelligent than males, however, females in some cultures are encouraged from early infancy to express a wide range of emotions in comparison to males and this can have an impact on how men tune into and express their emotions as adults. 

There is also another cultural impact in that females in some cultures are discouraged from expressing their anger (i.e. “good girls” do not show their emotions publicly) and vice versa. Females therefore feel uncomfortable with expressing anger and can be uncomfortable when exposed to anger in others. 

Males in some cultures however, become over reliant on expressing anger and then use it for a range of non-anger emotions and feelings e.g., anger when anxious, anger when fearful, anger when defensive, anger when sad and upset. 

✨ EQ and Cultures- We need to be extra vigilant when interacting emotionally with people from other cultures not like our own as other cultures will express their emotions in different ways and therefore what is effective for us can often lead to confusion with people from other cultures.

When living in the UK I was amused by the discomfort many of my Brit friends had about their American cousins exuberance for what they considered fairly “insginificant’ occasions. Then when living in the US there were often comments about the Brits being somewhat muted.  

Attention to cultural differences becomes even more critical when working with cross-cultural teams.

✨ EQ and Personality Type: EI can be grown no matter what type of personality we have and there are no strong correlations between levels of EI and personality in any of the research.

Bottom line: EQ is worth paying attention to 

Next: I will answer some pertinent questions that came up in the TALK and make more of a case as to why the world could do with a little more EQ right now.

#changebusiness