4 Tips to Manage Difficult Conversations

Had to have a #DIFFICULTConversation lately? with a sub-ordinate, a peer or maybe a senior….Or wait, it could have been someone at home…

– ‘??? to ?????? ????????? ??????????????’

Over the years we’ve learnt one thing for sure – the number one cause of stress was and is – OURSELVES ✋???‍♀️. 
More specifically – what we say to ourselves in our head. Our BELIEFS.

And we learnt that managing difficult conversations is a skill ??. One that we simply didn’t have enough experience with – on account of all that running away.

So, little by little we’ve built the skill. And here are our tips that we hope will help you too:

? TIP No. 1 – ????? ⏸️ 
Step away, bring your emotions down ?????. Allow yourself the time to bring your intelligence back up.
??? put a time limit to your pause. So you may want to step away for 5 minutes, 2 hours, 1 day – not forever.

? TIP No. 2 – ?????????? – Ask yourself what do I want NOW? ?
The clearer you are about YOUR OWN goals and priorities, the better that conversation will go for you. 

When we have a t̲a̲n̲g̲i̲b̲l̲e̲ goal – that we can check for by the end of the conversation – then we are less stressed than when we don’t. 

And this may be different for different conversations about the same topic with the same person/s e.g.
– in this meeting I will only state the issue (end of meeting check – did I say what I wanted to? ?)
– in this meeting, I will assert my stance (end of meeting check – did they hear what I wanted, did they argue? Argue is good because then I know they heard ?)  
– in this meeting, I will push for an agreement (end of meeting check – agreement! ?)

? TIP No. 3 – ????????? – Step into their shoes ? – what could they be thinking and feeling?
You ???’? have to agree with them – but you do have to ?????????? them.
This also helps humanise them – they stop being ‘difficult people’ and become a possible ally ??. 

? TIP No. 4 – ???????
Practice Practice Practice – No substitute for this one. 
Practice with someone else, a buddy and supporter – if possible.