Had to have a #DIFFICULTConversation lately? with a sub-ordinate, a peer or maybe a senior….Or wait, it could have been someone at home…
– ‘๐๐ค๐ฌ to ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ช๐ก๐ฉ ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ซ๐๐ง๐จ๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐จ?’
Over the years we’ve learnt one thing for sure – the number one cause of stress was and is – OURSELVES โ๐ผ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ.
More specifically – what we say to ourselves in our head. Our BELIEFS.
And we learnt that managing difficult conversations is a skill ๐ช๐ผ. One that we simply didn’t have enough experience with – on account of all that running away.
So, little by little we’ve built the skill. And here are our tips that we hope will help you too:
๐ TIP No. 1 – ๐ฃ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ โธ๏ธ
Step away, bring your emotions down ๐๐๐ง๐จ๐ฉ. Allow yourself the time to bring your intelligence back up.
๐ฝ๐๐ put a time limit to your pause. So you may want to step away for 5 minutes, 2 hours, 1 day – not forever.
๐ TIP No. 2 – ๐ฃ๐ฅ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ง๐๐ฆ๐ – Ask yourself what do I want NOW? ๐ฏ
The clearer you are about YOUR OWN goals and priorities, the better that conversation will go for you.
When we have a tฬฒaฬฒnฬฒgฬฒiฬฒbฬฒlฬฒeฬฒ goal – that we can check for by the end of the conversation – then we are less stressed than when we don’t.
And this may be different for different conversations about the same topic with the same person/s e.g.
– in this meeting I will only state the issue (end of meeting check – did I say what I wanted to? ๐ฏ)
– in this meeting, I will assert my stance (end of meeting check – did they hear what I wanted, did they argue? Argue is good because then I know they heard ๐ฏ)
– in this meeting, I will push for an agreement (end of meeting check – agreement! ๐ฏ)
๐ TIP No. 3 – ๐๐ ๐ฃ๐๐ง๐๐๐ฆ๐ – Step into their shoes ๐ฃ – what could they be thinking and feeling?
You ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ปโ๐ have to agree with them – but you do have to ๐๐
ฝ๐
ณ๐
ด๐๐๐๐
ฐ๐
ฝ๐
ณ them.
This also helps humanise them – they stop being ‘difficult people’ and become a possible ally ๐๐ผ.
๐ TIP No. 4 – ๐ฃ๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐๐ฅ๐
Practice Practice Practice – No substitute for this one.ย
Practice with someone else, a buddy and supporter – if possible.
